Preparing for Your Session

One of my first family sessions, 10 years ago, was garbage.

The parents were attractive, they had two adorable young children and the light was amazing but the session fell flat. The kids were naturally full of energy and didn't want to sit still for photos (this is actually wonderful). In an attempt to get their children to settle and pose for photos, the parents started to yell. The children began to cry, uncontrollably. The kids were upset, the parents were angry, I was uncomfortable. The photos were bad and the few that turned out felt so fake to me, forced smiles and far too posed.

It wasn’t how I wanted to do family sessions.

I adore photographs that catch real happiness and deep connection in a timeless, elegant and powerful way.
To me, family photos have to BURST with life and FEEL LIKE SUNSHINE…

The simple truth is the camera can only document what it sees. In order to document real love and genuine connection you have to cultivate it. When you look at the photos above, you can almost hear the sounds of the girls giggling and that’s because they were REALLY laughing - it’s authentic. You may about to do your own family session or you may be a photographer honing your craft - either way, here are five tips on how to make your family sessions more real, more loving and more resonant.

1 - EMBRACE THE WILD: LET YOUR KIDS BE KIDS.

Please let kids be kids. They are not accountants. It’s not tax season.

All the things that make children so incredible to photograph rarely occur when they are sitting still and asked to smile big for the camera, pose and say “cheeese”.

My feeling is PLEASE let them give me that wild expressive, exuberant energy! I don’t want “sit still” and I don’t want “well-behaved” (what fun is well behaved anyway?). These aren’t passport photos. For really happy photos, you need real happiness… and that comes from freedom and play.

Let them to run WILD, let them scream, let them jump, let them dance and let them fart on their sister’s arm. Let them get dirty, let them roll around, let them PLAY! Let them be everything they are right now because they will change - quickly - and right before your eyes. Photography is nothing except a gift to capture this moment and this version of your little humans and of your family.

Please don’t hang back and just watch the fun - join in run around together, chase each other, dance together, have tickle fights and eat your favorite treats together. This can be so fun.

2 - BE PRESENT: BE WITH YOUR KIDS

A good friend once described romance as simply being in the moment with your loved ones - doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing, you are fully present with them. This idea have stayed with me and have shaped the way I approach any session… and well, life.

I’ll try to explain myself with a strange but truthful analogy. Have you ever been kissed whole-heartedly…like full on urgent manhandling of passion? If someone is fully present a kiss, it can send shivers down your spine and linger in your mind for days. Now, compare that to something more half-assed ….a “honey, stop coming on to me I’m watching the Trump conference” as he glaces past you and towards the TV kind of kiss. It feels different. The energy exchange is different. You respond differently.

Half assed and distracted doesn’t cut it.

There are so many things that compete for our attention in this world: it is easy to just going through the motion. But, love shouldn’t be lukewarm. It’s got to be whole-hearted, passionate, present. THAT connection is heaven on earth - to be apart of and to photograph. That’s what was missing from my first session and that alone makes the difference between okay photos and AMAZING photos. A sessions doesn’t last long, 30 minutes to an hour. And though it’s not easy, if you can really dial in for that time, forget your cares for just a bit, it will make such an unbelievably difference in your experience and your images.

3 - DON’T WORRY: JUST ROLL WITH IT

Things will go wrong. Don’t stress.
If 10 years of wedding photography (and the year 2020, lol) taught me anything… you can plan and plan and plan (and plan for YEARS!) and things won’t go according to plan.

Don’t worry. It’s okay. We will make the best of it.

Kids fall as you chase, but they get back up, don’t worry.
Your little picnic may be infiltrated by red ants and you all get bitten, don’t worry.
Your smallest one may spend the whole session trying to steal animal crackers, don’t worry.
Your kids crawl all over your, grab your face and they will run away - don’t worry.

It doesn’t have to be “perfect” to be unbelievably magic. Let it be messy and real. There is a very special energy that comes from a bit of chaos and it is creatively fantastic!

4 - FALL IN LOVE WITH THE DETAILS

I fall in love with details. I find something small I like and am forever captivated. My dog has a swirl of dark fur and light fur on her elbow that reminds me of swirled ice cream. No one else cares but that one detail makes me crumble. There is something special in details.

They are the difference between “this is A family” and “this is YOUR family.”
If you aim for generic - you’ll get generic.

So, pay close attention — what do you love most about your kids? what are their strange little quirks? what are the little things they do and love today? It will all change, sure, but who they are today matters. It’s not just about noticing but communicating those things with your photographer. Let me know what makes you crumble so I can capture that for you.

Winnie, the little one, was fearless, unafraid of bodily harm and mad for animal crackers. During our session, we got attacked by red ants but she sat there calmly and in the commotion all she did was try to steal more animal crackers. When attention was elsewhere, she had two fist fulls and a mouth full of animal crackers. <3

5 - THROW OUT THE SHOT LIST - CONNECT WITH YOUR VALUES

A sure fire way to kill creativity and authenticity is to roll through a check list of prescribed shots and try to recreate them as you (or someone on pinterest) has done them in past.

For example, the classic Maternity Session:
1. Mom puts shapes hand into heart and rests them on belly & smiles at camera - check
2. Dad wraps arms around mom, fingers now interlaced again in heart shape on belly & smiles at camera - check
3. Child kisses belly & smiles - check
4. Dad kisses belly & smiles - check
…
11 poses later and I’m done?? That’s dull. Your session now looks like and feels like everyone else’s session.

I adore pinterest and treasure my ideas list. That’s a big part of my creative process. But if you are after unique, authentic, individual photos —”this is YOUR family” vs. “this is A family” - then you’ve got to ditch the prescribed shot list.

For newer photographers, this may feel scary. What if I don’t know what to do? What if it gets awkward? What if my shots don’t turn out? That’s all okay. Not all the shots any photographer will take will turn out. You think a wrestler gets a take down every time he shoots for one? Not even close...

My best sessions come when I shoot with values in mind (not poses) and when I stay open to beauty in front of me (which is really hard to do if you are shooting according to a shot list.) When it comes time to shoot, I’m open to whatever is unfolding naturally in front of me but I am actively searching for certain moments and feelings.

What matters for me and what I hunt for are moments that are:
timeless, classic, elegant
feminine, delicate, beautiful
authentic, present, connected
expressive, loving, affectionate
adventurous, playful, joyful
powerful, quiet, strong

I try to emphasize to my clients that “they don’t have to perform or pose for me. Just be, be there, be with your family. You play together, you be together, and I’ll do the treasure hunting.” Leaving space allows for the most beautiful natural interactions to occur. Take a moment and define your list of values and shoot with that list in mind instead. It’s more peaceful, more expressive and more honest way to approach a session.